Evil Intent
by 20FacesChizu
Summary: Many are the times that we are completely and utterly embarrassed, or are caught in embarrassing situations. Many are also the times we wish we could kill the people who put us there. [Teasing: KanSaku]
1. Groceries

_**Nine-tailed Angel Projects**_

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto; it belongs to Kishimoto-sensei._

_**Note:** Humorous, but deadly. If you have an aversion to killing intent, please leave the story now.

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**_Evil Intent _**

_Kyuubi Tenshi _

**Groceries**

She was most certainly going to kill him. Never mind that he was the last surviving Uchiha, that he was her first love, that he was her teammate, and above all, her friend. On top of that, never mind the fact that this was one of the few times in his life that he was actually being _considerate_.

She was going to murder him.

Castration, electrocution, 42 choice poisons, and then a spit roast, after which she'd send his meat to Orochimaru for a birthday banquet.

In the meanwhile, she hoped the fangirls haunting their every step didn't decide to do something rash about the 'attention' she was receiving.

22-year-old Haruno Sakura had only stopped by the market on the way home from work. There were no ill-intentions or 'get Sasuke' plans behind it. She was just going to make dinner! But _nooo_… she had to end up, quite literally, running into the Uchiha while her mind was wandering on a new procedure she'd learned. And for reasons unknown, it had struck his fancy to help her with her groceries. Which had put her in current said uncomfortable situation.

Being stalked by raging, hormonal rabid fangirls.

Oh yes; if she made it out of this, she was surely going to kill him.

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**AN: This has already been posted on MediaMiner. If FFNet screws up my account again, I WILL NOT post her any longer. (_huffs_) I refuse to have my material abused. Anywho, this will be a dumping place for random drabbles, especially quickly-finished, not-all-that-inspiring birthday tributes. Like the Shino one I'll be posting or so. Anyways, REVIEW.**


	2. PiggyBack

**Piggy-Back **

He was going to kill him. Never mind that he was the Kyuubi's Jinchuuriki (and therefore nearly unbeatable) and that he was the Rokudaime (unbeatable _period_). That ramen-scarfing, orange-wearing fox-boy was going to finally understand the meaning of painful death.

One 22-year-old Haruno Sakura was currently sprawled, unconscious, across the infamous Uchiha's back, sporting a dislocated shoulder, two cracked ribs, a burned hand and a sprained ankle. To say their most recent training session with her had been a little rougher than usual would be a dire understatement. But then the unforgivable.

The fox child had seen fit to pull a Kakashi, and had disappeared into thin air, leaving Sasuke to help the battered and bruised (and very unconscious) Earthquake Haruno.

_I love her, I love her, I love her…_ This mantra was the only thing allowing his final scrap of pride to remain intact as he carried her piggy-back style to her downtown apartment. He'd already dealt with jealous Kiba, crying Lee and seething Kankuro (in town on business). Even a wise-cracking Asuma and Kakashi.

Yes, Naruto was most certainly dead. Forget that he was the Rokudaime. He was definitely, _definitely_ dead.

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**AN: Meh, the next one. REVIEW.**


	3. Birthday

_**Note:** GaaSaku fluffiness. Be forewarned. Happy birthday, Gaara-kun!_

**Birthday **

She was going to kill him. Never mind that he was the Kazekage and it was his birthday. She was going to skin him alive.

Haruno Sakura, age 22, had been interested in one Sabaku no Gaara for several years now. He had been interested in her, as well. They had even gone out a couple of times (okay, not really; once for coffee and once to get drunk when they caught Tsunade and Kakashi in a… ahem… compromising position.). They'd even flirted some.

But here it was, at his 23rd birthday party (with shinobi from both Konoha _and_ Suna) and he just frenched her in front of all of them.

Sasuke was seething.

Naruto was dumbstruck.

Lee was crying.

Kiba and Akamaru _both_ were growling.

Kankuro had already pulled out Karasu.

And a good dozen or so fangirls besides were readying every weapon they had, besides. Oh, yes, she would definitely skin him alive.

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**AN: Tada. Gaara birthday gift. First GaaSaku; go easy on me. But REVIEW!**


	4. Disillusion

_**Disclaimer:** It belongs to Kishimoto-sensei; I belong to my insanity. This fic belongs to me. So technically, it belongs to my insanity, too._

**Disillusion**

He was gonna kill him. End of story. One Aburame Shino had _crossed the finite line_, and ended up in one Hyuuga Neji's cross-hairs.

It wasn't that he was a freak. It wasn't that he was _bug_ freak, either. It was the fact that, currently, he was watching the boy make-out with his cousin at the front gate.

Hyuuga Hinata and Aburame Shino had been together for a while now. Neji had known that. He had _also_ known that the two were going out for dinner that night to celebrate the insect-master's 24th birthday. He could accept that. He had _not _known how very involved the two were.

But Shino's hand sneaking up the hem of the Byakugan heiress's shirt was a definite disillusionment.

One Aburame Shino was very, _very _dead.

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**AN: Tada. Happy birthday, Shino! Even if I DO have you in Neji's cross-hairs (_giggles nervously_). Review, peeps.**


	5. Proposal

_**Nine-tailed Angel Projects**_

_**Disclaimer:** I claim no rights to Naruto; it belongs to Kishimoto-sensei._

_**Note:** Happy birthday, Morino Ibiki! We all know that Anko loves you; don't worry._

**Proposal**

_Kyuubi Tenshi_

She was gonna kill him.

Sure, he was the ANBU Interrogation Squad leader, the infamous Morino Ibiki. But this was _Mitarashi Anko_, a wildcat Jounin and even scarier female in general.

And he had just proposed to her in the middle of a heated battle with two-dozen renegade Mist-nin.

Normally, she would take his sarcastic comments in stride, and in a fight, they usually helped fuel her success. But that particular question was sprung on her so surprisingly that her guard completely dropped.

" 'What say we get married?'?!" she'd screeched, repeating him incredulously. Unfortunately, immediately afterwards a hard kick was landed in her gut, throwing her back into a tree.

But the little spitfire was currently raising cane from her hospital bed just beyond the door before him. He sighed, and slid it open, revealing himself to the rebellious kunoichi.

Oh yeah, she really _was_ gonna kill him.

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**AN: Morino Ibiki's birthday is March 20th, so it's a little late, but here it is! Teehee. Enjoy the fluffiness, and please leave a review!**


	6. Teasing

_**Disclaimer:**_ _It belongs to Kishimoto. I belong to my insanity._

_**Note:**__ For Kakuro's birthday on May 15__th__! Yay!_

**Teasing **

She was gonna kill him.

Gaara wondered amusedly if his brother was aware of that. Of course, even though he was a Sunagakure Jounin, and she was only a Konoha Chuunin, she was still the Godaime's apprentice.

Sabaku no Kankuro and Haruno Sakura had been dating for some time now. But it was well known that, because he loved her, he teased her _infinitely_, saying that she was exquisite when angry. Most would not refute the statement, but Sakura wasn't one to let him use that as an excuse.

Especially not when he just got through using blue dye to turn her pink hair a (very lovely) shade of violet in her sleep.

The Kazekage's body didn't react anymore when he heard the screams and shouts resounding through the Hokage Tower. No, wait… that was Temari. She'd get mad, too, now.

Really, at this rate…

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**AN: Hah! Happy BDay, Kan-kun!**


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